Let me start off by saying I am not a psychologist or anyone who knows anything about giving advice. This is just ways that have worked for me.
Breakups, fights with your family, financial struggles, roommate issues - these are all things that we all deal with in Los Angeles (and in life) and are things that can mess with your head. If things mess with your head, then they mess with your career. So how do we combat that? This is something I have been working on daily since I moved to LA and let me tell you: there is no quick fix. BUT....
There are ways to combat those negative thoughts so they stay in their proper place. Let me tell you a story....
When I moved to LA is was a rollercoaster of highs and lows. New things were thrown at me daily and dealing with them was sometimes more than I could handle. I was in a car accident the day before I moved to Los Angeles, I signed with a big manager (they represent my idols) 3 days after I moved to LA, my boyfriend (who I thought I was going to marry) admitted that he was cheating on me - all of this happened within a span of 3 months. As if moving across the country wasn't enough.
Figuring out a way to balance the pressures of living in a new city 3,000 miles away from home, having an A-List manager, the financial pressure of living in one of the most expensive cities in the country was insane. It was terrifying and exhilarating and one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life and I wouldn't have been able to do it if I didn't think I could (remember that quote from the Confidence post?).... It is amazing what happens when you shift your mindset to "I can" instead of "I can't."
There is no time for "can't-s" in your life. If you want something, game plan it.
Hear me out: speaking positively to yourself will change your life. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are talented. You have a lot to offer and the world wants to hear what you have to say. You are worth it. You are enough. Feels good, right? That is how you should be speaking to yourself. You need to hold yourself accountable, but you also need to build yourself up. It feels silly at first and you BS meter is probably going off real strong, but trust me: nothing is better that when YOU love you. A few months ago I went through and put random affirmations in my phone as reminders. I didn't look when I picked the date (I just scrolled and set some random time) so now, every couple of weeks, I get a notification on my phone that says something positive. From me - to me.
Set Reasonable Goals
I do this every 6 months. It is a way I check in with myself and I get super specific. Right now I have my goals down to the number (the amount of money I want to save by the end of the year, how much I want to grow my social media in the next 6 months, etc). Write your goals down - I keep mine in a Note in my phone and date it. As I check off goals, I put a checkmark emoji next to it. Update them as you go - if there are things you need to purchase/update in your life (for me a new DSLR camera and a desktop computer) but that on your goals list with the amount of money you need to save to purchase them and then work towards that. Need new headshots or a new bedspread or a new job? Put it on your goals list, hold yourself accountable, and work towards it.
Check in with yourself mentally
How are you feeling? Burnt out? Ready to kick ass? Lost? It is important to know where you are so you know where to start. If you're not in a good spot, figure out why. Are you unhappy in a relationship? Are you frustrated with your roommate? What is bugging you and what is causing you to sit in a space of negativity. Positive Mind = Positive Life. You can't complain about your woes, do nothing about it, and expect anything to change. We have a tendency to be bystanders in our own life. To live on autopilot. Yes, somethings are out of your control, but how you react to them - what you do about them - is totally in your power. So if there is something negative in your space, deal with it. Head on. (Trust me, you're strong enough and it will make a huge difference).
There's a lot of power in not giving a f*$k.
I learned this one the hard way. If you give people too much power, they will screw you over. No one cares about you as much as you do and people only have the power you give them. This is something I am still working on daily, but like I said in my confidence post, you get one life. This is yours. Your moment is now and for the rest of your moments on earth. Do not let anyone take that away from you. Go confidently after what you want. Stand up for yourself. Take ownership of your life.
You're doing great!
Oh hey there
Thank you for stopping by. My name is Ansley and I am a creative being. With not much to show for it. Feel the same?! Welcome! For all of you artists out there who are just hanging in there - this is for you!