I have a lot of amazing people in my life. A lot of people doing amazing things. A lot of people living, truly, their best selves. And that is inspiring as hell.
With the 2 month hiatus I took from this blog I had a lot of time to reflect. June and July I felt creatively drained, uninspired and like I was pushing a boulder up a hill. This is not a new feeling, but it is one that I wanted to examine this time. So while I was taking a creative break (I mean everything, all writing, my podcast, everything), I spent time with some of the badass artists in my life (I'm not going to name names, not because I don't love them and don't want to give them credit, but because I thinks that is tack as hell). Without further ado, here is what I learned from them:
1. Confidence. confidence. confidence.
All of these badass ladies have this in common. They have unwavering confidence. That doesn't mean that they walk around life without a care, but they put work into themselves and they are proud of it. They know what they bring to the table, they don't apologize for who they are and they go after what they want. I think I am relatively confident, as most of us are, but I have found myself floundering, making jokes at my expense and putting myself under others when I am around those who I think are "better than me." Which is BS. So - I am going to put some work into those silly little voices in my head that tell me that I am "less than" because I perceive someone a certain way. Because - confidence is key. They genuinely believe in themselves and don't need anyone to tell them they are awesome. Because they already know it.
2. Who you surround yourself with matters. A lot.
As motivational speaker Jim Rohn put it - we are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Look at your life. Who consumes your time? Are they strong, creative loving types? Or are they negative, complaining, self-obsessed types? Who you surround yourself with matters and affects you more than you think. Never has this been more true that in the last few months for me. I have a friend, who is hardworking, self reflective, kind, beautiful and loving and every time I spend even an hour with her, my cup is full and I feel awesome about myself and everything in my life. On the contrary, I have a friend who I love and spending time with them is draining to say the least. Our conversations are usually negative and about things that aren't fair. Now, don't get me wrong: we all need to vent to someone. We all need people to confide in. But the difference is doing that with someone who is a "giver" vs someone who is a "taker". Givers will offer strong, fact-based critiques that make you evaluate your choices while making sure they aren't leading you to some conclusion they want you to have - there's no ulterior motive outside of wanting you to be your most mindful self. Takers, on the other hand, will take whatever pain and hardship, lead you to where they want you to go, and it will typically favor their feelings about themselves at your expense. All of this affects your view of yourself and your view of the world, which in turn, affects your creative life. The badass ladies in my life, for the most part, don't allow that kind of negativity into their headspace. It is your job to be aware and take the self care you need - is it okay to make yourself #1. How would the badass ladies handle this? They will, of course, be a friend to any type of person and would never make them feel bad about themselves, BUT they don't allow that person to be one of their "top 5." This is hard, but you have to put yourself and your mental state first.
3. They go for it. always.
Whether it is self-producing an album or starting a niche clothing line, these badass ladies don't let the "what if's" and "I can't because" get in their way. If they want something, they go for it. Full steam ahead!! Are their going to be challenges? Of course. Welcome to life. But you know the saying "either you make excuses or you make it happen." Everyone has the ability to do exactly what they want to do. And I know what you're thinking... that little voice in your head is saying "well, Ans, I can't because I don't have an agent." "Well I can't because I don't know how to write." "Well I can't because no one is going to read/watch/listen to what I make and I'd feel stupid" - this, my friends, goes back to confidence. You are awesome and you can do it.
Live long and prosper friends!
I am not a professional nor are these accounts based on anything other that personal experience. Do with it as you will.
Oh hey there
Thank you for stopping by. My name is Ansley and I am a creative being. With not much to show for it. Feel the same?! Welcome! For all of you artists out there who are just hanging in there - this is for you!